Turning a Corner
A year with its mind
2023 is turning out to be of having a mind of its own. So, without a choice, I have made my peace with this year. Let it flow. Let it tell me what is in store.
The only thing I was determined was to get Ponder 2022 published. And, I did. River’s Heaven, my second book of the year, is under design works in the hands of Highbrow Publishing.
These two books are significant, the last two books of the first phase of my journey as a poet and an author. While River’s Heaven is on as if on divine cue, a few seemingly unconnected events shaped the beginning of the next phase of my journey.
I have only one regret — after May 2021, when A City Full of Stories (ACFOS) was published independently, my next fiction work has not seen the eyes of another publisher. ACFOS brought me two wins. First, it made me an author. The book is doing well despite no marketing. It has crossed 250 copies.
The second, the long story, the novella, brought me my biggest fan and now my creative advisor and editor of all my fiction works, Shwetahitesh. Believe me or not, the first incident among three I shall write about here, was a meeting with her.
Meeting Shweta:
Shweta and I had been on and off the manuscript of ‘The Bachelor’s Wife and Other Stories’ that she has been holding for almost 6 months. I haven’t seen her face on a video call, and she has been quite reticent in the past few months in a place, far away.
I was surprised to see her message that she was in Bengaluru creating the possibility of our meeting. I jumped at the opportunity. We were to meet after four years!
She started quickly arranging the papers — she likes to read and mark in print. We decided to keep the editing discussion aside and reminisced about our journey together.
We ordered our stuff — I, my standard black coffee, and she, a Latte. She added two pieces of Malty cake. We found them hard, and asked the cafe to warm them.
Our meeting is significant in my journey as an author. For, it was the first time I could hear from her that ‘this book deserves a much better platform — publishing and marketing.’
‘Bachelor’s Wife’ is a significant evolution from ACFOS.’ She said. These were the words that I was thirsting to hear. I didn’t show much then, but I had to tell. ‘I have read Amish and stopped halfway, and a few others — but this…this is unique.’
‘We need somebody who can understand us and work on marketing and publishing.’ I could not agree more. Her words were pragmatic and to the point. As always.
I am sharing this not to humble-brag, but as a note in my journey, because there are a few who stand by me, in my highs and lows, and the first among them is Shweta. She is a friend first, and then a creative partner.
‘We should create two teams — one for the mythological and another for the urban track, like ACFOS.’ I haven’t thought of this, Shweta. This is a great idea. The genres are different and the readers are, therefore, diverse. Two tracks make sense.
Wait, is it a subtle way of saying that I should write more mythology? I did not ask her that question.
It started raining and Shweta had to leave. We agreed to meet the next week — there is always more learning from her. I am blessed, indeed.
Goodbye, Red:
I watch Netflix these days, more to look at the storylines, plots, and character arcs. Someday, one of my stories may turn up on the Screen ( I wish). The one that I binged and caught on was ‘Blacklist’.
Blacklist is the story of the world’s top criminal who turns himself over to the FBI ( and insists that he would talk to only a specific, young, and fresh profiler. The story then turns over different ‘Blacklisters’ who are brought down by the FBI’s designated task force. The background of who is this character and his relationship with the FBI profiler comes to a head in Season 8, and then finally, this week, the series wrapped up with a 2 part finale).
James Spader plays the role of Raymond ‘Red’ Reddington. With a penchant for playing morally ambiguous characters, James has etched his place with his roles in Boston Legal, The Office, and now, in Blacklist. Known for his expressions, histrionics, and the use of space for action and acting. His knowledge of art and literature, especially poetry attracted me.
In his last act, Red saves his man Friday, and now an FBI Agent, Dumbe Zuma, while fleeing the country, while the task force is after him on the orders of the Attorney General. Through season 10, Red is giving up his vast criminal empire, as if he only knew the script of his life and death. The audience was left gasping at the end — a poetic, mystical death — the only possible ending to such a character who kills a Congressman with a shot to the forehead, even in the last hour.
He walks alone, struggling for breath, gasping often, in the sapient sunshine towards an open plain surrounded by hills. The golden grass matches his khaki overalls and he looks around in famous red-tinted glasses. He meets the Matador, right in the middle of nowhere, which becomes interested in him, and as he stares at the powerful creature, which he has always been in awe with. The black, sharp-horned bull runs towards him while he just stands still and stares at the approaching creature. In the next scene, we see Red lying on the ground, his jacket and abdomen soaked in blood, and his face looking serene.
The end of the greatest criminal in the world is anti-climactic, disappointing many an ordinary watcher, but for me, the character of Red reflected the zest for life.
I quote Dembe talking about Red’s approach to life.
Dembe admits that even when he was dying, he was content with his life thanks to Red. “More than anyone I’ve ever known he’s always been at peace with death. He says, ‘Death is inevitable. It will come for us all. And that inevitability robs death entirely of its significance,” Dembe Zuma (Hisham Tawfiq) said about Red. “What matters are the things that are not inevitable. The things we create, the things we find, the left we take when everything in our life is leading us right. How we live.’ I’ve always loved him for that. For his remarkable refusal to go quietly into that goodnight.”
This piece inspired me to write the second climax of the novel, ‘My Rainbow Bridge’. Life on earth, my friends, is heaven. Living our life to the fullest is the purpose of our life. Death is… well…you need to read the book.
Welcome, Vanchi:
If you are following the chronicles of my journey as a writer, then you would not have missed this. If you have not, click this link. What I have not written about is the climax.
There are two parts to the book — one a memoir of sorts, but more so from the POV of death. The second part is the life after, which covers the discovery of the magic of life.
Of course, my writing has been random, and more recently, slowed down. Meeting Shweta and saying Goodbye to Red, brought out the two pieces that make me a writer — the purpose and the project. I wrote the climax in a 2-hour sitting. The climax turned out to be better than I expected, with all the pieces fitting nicely. Of course, it is the first draft, so I can’t add more.
But I can quote this:
“I’m the one that’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.”
― Jimi Hendrix, The Jimi Hendrix Experience — Axis: Bold as Love
We all, well, most of us, have been living life the wrong way. The answers to life and death are today, mostly, available spiritually and scientifically. We just have to connect the dots. You have to find your own ‘Rainbow Bridge’.
More in Journal 2 of ‘My Rainbow Bridge’.
~Ashok Subramanian, Chennai, 2023.
