Random Scribbles: Tango is always about two.

5 min readJun 13, 2024

Here we are. When a matter of two persons is now between so many… I don’t know how I — we reached here. But I am sure that I stand judged. I am clear about a few things though — my work shall remain unscathed. I have the respect of those who respect me and those who honestly critique.

Then, I found myself in a dustbin. Half story on, crushed and mutilated, I land in a bin — a new place for me. If you are in a place you don’t understand, go over to the place where you started. That’s what I shall do. I am surrounded by those who ask questions, knowing well that the answer need to be found — together.

In an inexplicable twist, I am in a corner that I never dreamed of. I respect critiquing views and I believe that time can heal. It is simple and complex. That is where the situation is. It is hard for people to assess how torn I am inside, and how brutal the trauma is. Every piece we had built together. Yet, somewhere there was that undercurrent, of course, I have borne the cross with silence, and even wrote three unpublished poems about it.

On one side, my heart screams that I should reach but on the other hand, the sanity of ‘more than two heads’ is holding back. It is not a matter of heart, I suppose. Either that ship has sailed or it was only in my imagination. But I could see the words slowly creep in. I can’t honestly fathom.

I do work with people, been there and done that — but today, here and now, I am sure that I am misunderstood. I could get it straight if it was just a thread-and-needle issue, but we were weaving a beautiful something together — or we are still weaving, I hope so. I have to be careful that the beautiful weave is not torn.

To be called the tango partner and asked if they deserve this, like it was a God-sent opportunity just a week ago, to the somersault that was vicious, vituperative, and violent — I just hope the words that were spoken land on their two feet. I take them in silence because the thoughts behind the words are original, and they deserve to be appreciated and listened to. I don’t need to agree, but I must figure out if this is a trapeze or tango.

I am out there, practicing my dance moves and getting ready. My heart is pounding, my nerves racing, my breath shallow — yet I am out there, dancing and preparing. It is not now a matter of two — but it is a matter outside the ring — the ring that I am now practicing in. But, remember, it is always two in a tango and many in a trapeze dance.

I am waiting for my partner — my tango partner.

Comparison of the Three Poems by Ashok Subramanian

Themes and Emotions

“I DON’T KNOW”

Themes: Uncertainty, self-doubt, perception vs. reality.
Emotions: Confusion, introspection, warmth amidst coldness.
Summary: This poem explores the narrator’s struggle with understanding people’s true perceptions of him. Despite the smiles and compliments he receives, he feels the critical words spoken about him behind his back must be the true representation. He searches within himself for answers and holds onto a small, warm glow amidst the cold truths he perceives.

“TWO SIDED DIME”

Themes: Hypocrisy, self-worth, the burden of words.
Emotions: Bitterness, resignation, introspective sorrow.
Summary: The narrator reflects on the weight of harsh truths and their impact on his self-worth. He feels like an authentic hypocrite, burdened by the judgment of others and his own actions. The poem speaks to the internal conflict of wanting to be valued while feeling like a worthless, two-sided dime.

3. “I WILL TRY”

Themes: Persistence, self-worth, hope.
Emotions: Hopeful, reflective, enduring.
Summary: This poem shifts towards a more hopeful tone, where the narrator acknowledges his perceived lack of worth but also his persistence and resilience. Despite feeling like a two-sided dime, he holds onto the hope that there is value in his existence, even if it’s not immediately apparent. The warmth and glow within him serve as a beacon of hope in challenging times.

Structural and Stylistic Elements

Common Elements:

First-person perspective: All three poems use a first-person narrative, providing a deep, personal insight into the narrator’s thoughts and feelings.
Repetition: Themes of self-doubt and self-worth are recurrent, highlighting the narrator’s ongoing internal struggle.
Imagery: Vivid imagery is used to convey emotions, such as the “candle still glows” in “I DON’T KNOW” and the “metallic alloy that shines” in “I WILL TRY”.

Unique Elements:

“I DON’T KNOW”: Utilizes a conversational tone, with the narrator directly expressing confusion and contemplation.
“TWO SIDE DIME”: The language is more intense and dramatic, reflecting the narrator’s internal turmoil and bitterness.
“I WILL TRY”: Shifts to a slightly more hopeful and reflective tone, emphasizing resilience and persistence.

Evolution of Perspective

From Uncertainty to Hope:

The progression from “I DON’T KNOW” to “I WILL TRY” shows an evolution in the narrator’s perspective. Initially, the narrator is engulfed in confusion and self-doubt. In “TWO SIDE DIME”, this transforms into a deeper acknowledgment of self-worthlessness and hypocrisy. Finally, in “I WILL TRY”, there is a sense of acceptance and a hopeful outlook towards finding value and purpose.

Consistency in Struggle:

Despite the evolving perspective, the narrator’s struggle with self-worth and the impact of others’ perceptions remains a constant theme throughout all three poems. This consistency underscores the enduring nature of the narrator’s internal conflict.

Conclusion

The three poems by Ashok Subramanian are interlinked through their exploration of self-worth, perception, and resilience. They portray a journey from uncertainty and confusion to a tentative hope and persistence, all while maintaining a deep introspective tone. The imagery and stylistic choices create a rich tapestry of emotions, reflecting the narrator’s internal battles and eventual emergence into a more hopeful state of being.

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